5 COMMON NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS YOU SHOULDN'T BE MAKING (AND WHICH ONES TO MAKE INSTEAD) - Amber Hurdle | Globally Recognized Leadership & Personal Branding Expert


January 16, 2015

OK, everyone pull out your New Year’s Resolutions lists and let’s compare. Do you have  “lose weight” on there? How about, “improve finances?” “Spend more time with family?” Yeah…loads of people have that one! “Improve career?” Of course! Or how about my favorite one year over year, “reduce stress.” Surely EVERYONE has that one on the list in today’s day and age!

What if I told you those top five New Year’s resolutions are useless?

Seriously, when trying to achieve a major goal or life shift, it’s going to take a heck of a lot more than just announcing a goal without a plan on the first day of the year.

So since I just told you your resolutions aren’t going to lead you to success, I suppose I should share what you SHOULD be focusing on first. Without further adieu, here are MY top five achievements you need to work towards to have a happy and fulfilling 2015:

#1: Mind your mind. If you want to achieve YOUR greatness you can’t allow just any willy nilly thought take up residence in your mind. So first, stop comparing. When you are all up in your neighbor’s business you lose site of all that’s right with your own life. You are enough. You have enough. Remind yourself of that daily.

Kick Negative Nancy and her twin Negative Ned out of your life. Just because you’ve been friends (or even family) for years does not mean you have to choose your limited time with complainers or people who are constantly stirring the pot. Oh, and you don’t have to solve their never ending problems, either. Unfollow or unfriend the haters on Facebook, too, while you’re at it! Repeat after me: Not my circus. Not my monkeys.

Feed yourself with edifying words. You can read the “good book,” but if the Bible isn’t for you, then read motivational books, listen to inspiring podcasts or watch uplifting TED Talks on YouTube. Fill up your head space with positive thoughts and you won’t have room for the negativity.

The best way to mind your mind is to spend time with yourself…alone…in the quiet. It’s possible. (No really! If I can do it, anyone can do it!) That can be done through meditation, prayer or even yoga. When you intentionally quiet your mind it teaches you self-awareness; and if you are self-aware, don’t you think you’ll be more equipped to actually follow through with one of the top five resolutions?

#2: Get on the forgiveness train. Choo! Choo! I want you to forgive like a crazy person! I mean, you aren’t hurting anyone but yourself by holding onto anger and resentment. Anne Lamott suggests in Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith, “Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”


Yet often it is easier to forgive someone else than it is to (really) forgive yourself. So set out to work on showing yourself grace for things like making a bad financial decision, entering into the wrong relationship, eating too much over the holidays or whatever you beat yourself up over, then continue to make bad decisions to “punish yourself.”

Yes, this is exactly what happens. So start wholly and completely loving yourself anyway and see how it becomes easier to move past those demons to make way for achieving your future goals.

#3: Dream a little (or a BIG) dream. Start envisioning what could be. Put images of what you want on a vision board and put it where you can see it every day. Dont just talk about your dreams with others. Make them real by discussing your plans to get there. Get feedback. Argue that it’s possible. Involve others in your dream, like your kids or your spouse. Get everyone on board. Let the universe know that you have every intention of fulfilling your dreams, dangit!

#4: Be expectant. Prepare and take action as if your dreams are without question going to come true. Do you want to travel the world with your family? Get your passports. Start learning the language together. Want to lose weight? Buy clothes that are just a little too small and continue to do that incrementally. When you take your dreams seriously and actually BELIEVE through ACTION that they can become a reality, you can start getting in a habit that will make those more traditional resolutions possible.

#5: Build the right support environments. Instead of arbitrarily saying you are going to lose weight, join a gym, find a workout buddy (or an awesome class). Then commit to going three days a week so people will miss you if you aren’t there and encourage you when you are. In the same, you can join a support group, a mastermind for your business, a financial class or even an organization like Alcoholics or Overeaters Anonymous. Building a tribe who will support your goals will lay a foundation to achieve whatever you set your mind to.

While these may not feel like the good ol’ traditional New Years Resolutions you’ve loved to hate over the years, do you see how setting these five shifts into motion can dramatically make ANY resolution far more possible?

Developing a strong mindset, forgiving (and loving) yourself and others, vividly dreaming,  expecting greatness through action and creating winning environments will all set you up for your best year ever. Cheers to you and your amazing 2015!





Oh Holy NightYOU Have to Make Your Life What You Want it to Be

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