For almost my entire adult life I have felt insecure about my legs. Thanks to genetics and a steady stream of carb loading sans the actual marathon, I have battled the self-loathing from my saddlebags to my cankles.

Whether at my skinniest or curviest, one thing remained: my self-consciousness about my legs.

Ridiculous.

So when it comes time for family pictures, I scrutinize, dissect and criticize myself. Or during my more “curvy” life stages, I opted out of being in the picture altogether.

I was missing out on things because of my vanity and insecurity. I wore awful “mom shorts” that came to my knees because I didn’t want the world to see and judge my varicose veins. I opted out of swimsuits because I had all the normal battle scars of motherhood.

Then one day, after looking through some old photos I had an epiphany. I was staring at these beautiful pictures of me and my friends in high school, and I was wearing shorts over my swimsuit to cover up my “cellulite”.

I was absorbed with manufactured insecurities and missed out on enjoying my youthful, stretch mark free, tight-skinned body.

If I could reach through time and slap that skinny fetus I would. I wish I had the eyes to see then what I see now, a body that was perfectly healthy and normal.

So my mind went to the future, when I am in my 50s, 60s, 70s what would I be screaming at the present day me? “Get over yourself!” came to the top of the list.

It’s all about shifting your perspective. At 70 years old I am sure I will look back at pictures of me now and think, “Wow, look how great I looked, I wish I had really enjoyed my youth, not sabotage it with the ideals of perfection.”

I already regret how often I opted out of the pictures and videos, volunteering to be the camera person, or giving excuses to not be in the yearly portraits.

Moms, we have to stop the insanity, stop modeling and giving value to the ideals of perfection. If we can’t relax and have our pictures taken, what message are we sending to our children?

When we comb through the beautiful pictures our photographer took and the first thing we say is some comment about our fat arms, our wrinkled forehead or our fat ankles, we ruin the experience of the whole process.

We pay a photographer our hard earned money to capture a feeling, a life stage — to freeze that moment in time.

When we show up, stressed out about our own insecurities and anxieties, we become this self-fulfilling prophecy. Feeling ugly and awkward translates in the pictures.

When we ask the photographer to photoshop our arms slimmer or wrinkles smoother, we perpetuate onto our children this impossible standard of perfectionism.

As much as it pains me to see my flaws captured in a photo, it pains me far greater to have my children feel that they need to be perfect.

While I try to choose clothes and pose in a way that draws the eye away from my “trouble zones,” I also choose to enjoy the process, enjoy the photo session, and notice how much the kids have grown since last year’s pictures.

I focus in on the experience, the fun, the laughter, the funny little jokes we make to get genuine smiles out of everyone. Let me tell you it is freeing, and my pictures turn out better.

Now when I look at pictures and my eye is drawn to my imperfections I like to play the game of what would the future me have to say about this picture.

 

About the Author

Jaime Gordon

Jaime Gordon Life Coaching

Transformational Coaching/Life Coaching

Jaime Gordon is a transformational life coach who partners with individuals to clarify their vision, break through barriers, and achieve the longings of their hearts in life, relationships and business. In addition to being a wife and mother of 3, she truly believes in the power of standing with her clients as they do the work of transformation.

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