A most embarrassing moment no one ever knew about until now...

I want to give a fair warning: to read this you either need to recruit your 12-year-old boy humor or give me a pass for way too much TMI for one post. Option 3? Skip this blog if you must maintain some elevated opinion of me. 😂

OK, for those of you who are sticking with me…here’s the story with the asterisk that I consumed NO alcohol that evening…

Do you know what a body suit is? It’s like a onesie for grown ups. A fashionable shirt option for a neatly tucked look, if you will.

Well, I recently wore one to a fine dining establishment for a professional dinner, but chose not to actually snap it. Meaning, I wore it exactly like a snapped together bodysuit, but didn’t want the feeling of it tugging, so I simply shortcutted it.

Got the visual?

Perfect.

So I go to the restroom. I was not paying attention, and nothing was pulling, so it didn’t get my attention. I mean, there was nothing to unsnap. And of course, I was not thinking that I have my (technically) shirt wrapped around me when I go to…well…pee.

🙈

STILL, even at that point, it didn’t hit me what I had just done.

And then…

…I went to wipe…

TMI, I know, but stay with me….

OMG! I seriously just peed on my shirt at 41-years-old. #thingsyoucantmakeup

Thank GOD every opulent bathroom “stall” at this restaurant has its own sink in it!!!!

So, I’m standing there in front of my personal sink, still totally amazed at my lack of attention span at my age, with the bottom of my body suit in my hand, whilst still wearing it. 

I die. But I’m also in a fit of laughter because I can acknowledge the absurdity of it all. 😂

I decided the first course of action was to run it under COLD water to not bake in the smell of urine for the rest of the evening via hot water.

Then, I move to scrubbing it with liquid soap and scalding hot water. (Because I didn’t need to feel my hands the rest of the night.)

Please, public restroom gods, smile upon me today!!!

Just imagine me in one of the nicest restaurants in my area, frantically scrubbing urine out of my shirt’s crotch, as I wear the very article of clothing I’m laundering, finally ending the fiasco by wringing it out and praying I did an adequate job. 

Thank goodness for pleather pants that block any visual of wetness, am I right?

Once I felt confident that I would not emerge into our private dining space smelling like a baby freshly awakened from a nap with a full diaper ready to be changed, I confidently sauntered back to our guests. And by “confidently,” think more like: fake it ‘til you make it.

Are you done laughing at me now?

Seriously, gather yourself. 

After reflecting on this hysterical experience, I thought how 2020 it was.

I mean, how many times were you so distracted by all that has happened in your company, family, society, the medical sphere, or the *world* that you proverbially peed on yourself? I mean, just completely missed something and ended up with a mess to clean up that you simply prayed no one would even find out about?

Probably several times, if I had to guess. And it would be an educated guess, at that.

I’ve been lucky enough to coach individuals, work with companies, and engage with many professionals through Velvet Machete®  Leadership Academy and our membership program,  Velvet Machete®  Leadership Society, throughout arguably the most difficult year to navigate in our lifetimes. It’s given me tremendous perspective from a worldwide paradigm, spanning various industries and personalities. I’ve learned so much from these brilliant leaders and also have keen observations.

Here’s what I know:

I don’t think there is going to be a “new normal”in our near future. In fact, I believe that uncertainty is going to remain with us for some time. 

*That means that we have to continue to exercise grace for ourselves and each other. 

*That means we need to focus on increasing our agility.

*That means that we need to flex our empathy muscles. Walk a mile in each other’s shoes, if you will.

*That means we must continue to invest in ourselves, seek support, and do our work–our inner-work.

That means that when you have a “pee on yourself” moment, you take it in stride and maybe even laugh about it, like I assure you I did in that restroom. (Never mind all of the other women outside of my private stall wondering what the heck was so funny!) 

Then, fake it ‘til you make. And you will make it, my friend.

I don’t make a habit of sharing to my little part of the world that I peed on myself in public, let alone ever, but it seemed like the perfect train wreck story to get you to see that maybe you are doing ok. And maybe other people are doing their very best, too.

Maybe it’s acceptable to say, “It is what it is,” and simply find your best course of action to correct the challenge you created. (Again, pleather pants are recommended for ultimate concealing of said oopsies.) 

Maybe it’s ok to learn from our mistakes and not beat ourselves up over making them the first time.

Listen, you’ve got this. We’ve got this.

Do you have a 2020-esque story that tops mine? Share it! Let’s laugh together.

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